The Average U.S. Wardrobe

From various data gatherers I read that the average woman in the U.S. has a closet with 103 items, and 20 pair of shoes (5 of which are worn). She spends about $92/month on clothing, an average of 2 items online and 3 purchases in-store. She regrets 78% of her purchases and only wears around 10% of her closet.

I did a fresh wardrobe inventory of my own, finding I had 101 items (coming in close to average), including 18 pair of shoes (again). I tried on every single piece, and photographed myself wearing each item for evaluation. My Keeping pile dropped my list to 9 dresses/gowns, 6 tops, 4 bottoms, 3 outerwear, and 6 shoes for a total of 28 pieces. How's that for spring cleaning? 

Most of what was cluttering my closet was of good quality and fit, but wasn't as well suited to me as the 28 pieces that made the cut (this is a major benefit of photographing everything at once and seeing your looks side by side). I don't want B grade looks stuffing up the back of the closet for if one of my A looks falls out or for the sake of "variety"- If an A look falls out, it needs to be replaced by another A look, and even 28 pieces is more variety than I need.  

I don't mean this to be a numbers game, other than to determine what you actually will wear, like to wear, and feel good wearing. If you have 100+ A garments, kudos to you. If you don't, consider letting items go. Let it to go to someone who will wear it and feel good wearing it today. It needs to leave your sight so you can see with clarity the wardrobe that serves you, and only the wardrobe that serves you. You need an A+ wardrobe for your life today- not a museum of your past life, nor a monument to the life you wish you had, but a wardrobe that supports the body, aesthetic, and lifestyle that you have right now in the best way possible.

So my brave and stylish Beauties, dare you count how many items are in your wardrobe and see how many of those pieces are actually your best? Will you be doing any closet spring cleaning this season to clear the way for your very best?

4 Approaches To solve your style frustrations

I use multiple approaches to style needs when working with clients. Understanding these different approaches is likely to be helpful in your personal style journeys.

The first asks, "Who do I want and need to present to the world? What is required of me? What do I want to invoke in others when they see me?" How you want to be seen is an interconnected and social approach. It may also be beneficial in your professional life to cultivate an image through considering your intended effect. 

The second asks "What do I feel comfortable in? What makes me feel safe? What makes me feel joyous? What makes me feel free?" How you want to feel is a personal approach. It may be how you feel when you see or touch the clothing, or how it feels against your skin, or how it feels to move in it.

The third asks "What colors, shapes/silhouettes, and textures are most flattering on me?" Wanting to know what's most flattering to your form is an analytical approach. This approach is like a puzzle- trying to figure out the different aspects of your form and movement/personality and echo these aspects in your clothing choices.

The fourth asks, "What do I realistically need for my activities in life?" Understanding activity needs is a practical approach. What percent of your time do you spend doing what activity? Do the contents of your closet match up with these percentages?   

Much of the struggle that I see with people trying to sort out their own style comes from trying to wrangle these separate approaches simultaneously. They say things like, "I know I look best in soft fabrics, but I really love sharper looks" (analytical approach conflicting with personal) or "I have to present a serious image, but I just live for cartoon prints and fun, silly things" (social approach conflicting with personal) or "My friend buys me heels and wants to see me wear them, but they don't fit into any aspect of my lifestyle" (practical conflicting with social) and they feel dissatisfied and frustrated when trying to come up with a wardrobe that attempts to value two or more approaches equally and simultaneously.. 

I strongly recommend that you consider these approaches separately.

Step One

Write separate paragraphs and/or lists to focus on

• how you want to be seen
• what makes you feel happy to wear
• what is especially flattering in terms of color/lines/etc
• what your activities currently require of you.

No cross-referencing during this initial phase- just try to answer each of the approaches for themselves without worry of trying to find points of intersection- there might not be any, and that's ok. You may need to break your lists into sublists if you have different answers depending on the arena of your life (e.g. How you want to be seen by your boss, your friends your partner, your baseball team, etc).

Step Two

Order your four lists in order of importance. If your boss requires a specific dress code and it isn't at all what you would personally choose to wear, you might not be able to place what you feel good in above the importance of your life activities or social expectations in that arena, at this time in your life. Don't fret, as there are ways to integrate happy-feel-good items into even the stuffiest uniform. 

It is really important to be clear on what your current style priorities are for the different realms of your life. It is ok to keep them separate, and it is helpful to know in your mind that they are separate, as well as your reasons for keeping them separate, so that you aren't left frustrated in trying to make one cohesive look out of multiple, separate, needs.

For a long time my personal hang-up was in making fitness clothes as stylish and flattering as possible while also staying practical. Realizing that flattering, personally joyous, practical fitness wear couldn't be equally those things has allowed me to stop the endless search and to appreciate what I do have for being practical and at most ticking one other box. 

One of the most common modern style dilemmas is the personal feel-good desire for comfort and a separate desire for the most flattering lines. These are both good desires, and it is infinitely helpful if you know which desire is a bigger priority, if only by a sliver, so that you can make quick calls when shopping or getting dressed each day, and shed the frustrations and confusion that unclear priorities bring.  

Step Three

When you have your separate write-ups, you can begin to ask yourself questions about each- "What is it about these things that makes me feel happy? Is there something I can carry over to bring joy into other arenas of my style? How much wiggle room to I have in my life activity needs? What are the possibilities?" 

It's helpful to remember that while an entirely cohesive wardrobe is satisfying, it's not always possible, and at the root, it's not necessarily what we want when we consider that we have different needs and desires in various realms of our lives. 

Now when you declutter your closet, or when you shop, you can ask what approach or arena of life you're looking for, and how it fits into your current priorities.

If you feel like sharing some of your answers to these questions in the comments, I'd love to hear them! If you think of other approaches, please share those too.

Difficulty With Minimalism?

I find myself back in a period of intense minimizing, cleaning, organizing- essentializing. I've been struck in this way before, perhaps 3-4 times. It comes on suddenly. I wake up and feel like I'm drowning in stuff, weighted down and burdened by the sheer presence of stuff associated with me.

Clothes go flying. Drawers are turned upside down. Little piles are made, grow, shrink, and shuffle. Years of notes and pieces of work are ripped from notebooks and sketchbooks, and burned. Pinterest boards are reorganized and deleted. Computer files are dumped and restructured. Perhaps the first time I was gripped I was 17, and I didn't feel free until I was down to two outfits, a laptop, and a handful of sentimentals. It wasn't sustainable, meaning that it wasn't true essentialism for me- it was less than what was needed for me to feel right.

I once read a book called "Unclutter Your LIfe: Transforming your Physical, Mental, and Emotional Space," that provided clues as to where the anti-stuff drive comes from. What I took from the book, is that the things around us are both reflective of, and reinforcing or guiding, values and goals. If you have a lot of clutter, it can be overwhelming, as if you're being pulled in too many directions to progress toward the things you actually care about. If you want to be making art, having the designated space, supplies, and inspiration around you to do so would be wise. We have to make space for our priorities by clearing out the non-priorities. 

The things that we own take up space. If you have drapes, you have both the physicality of the drapes to take care of, and also the mental time/space of drapery observations and considerations. The drapes serve a purpose (perhaps decorative, perhaps preventing passerbys to see your nude living room frolic or whatever it is you're dong in there), and you might deem that purpose worth the physical and mental space the drapes take (I certainly do). There are many items that are not worth the physical and mental space they require of us. I think of Steve Jobs always wearing a black turtleneck, jeans, and sneakers. It took up very little physical and mental space. From a Vanity Fair article:

You also need to remove from your life the day-to-day problems that absorb most people for meaningful parts of their day. “You’ll see I wear only gray or blue suits,” [Obama] said. “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.” He mentioned research that shows the simple act of making decisions degrades one’s ability to make further decisions.

Decision fatigue is part of the mental space I value freeing up. When in the grip, I notice I end up wearing all grey. I think of black/white/grey as being quieter than colors- as taking up less visual space. I envy having a set style uniform. I haven't found a way to do it yet that would work for me, but maybe one day. I have done it for others. 

In order to successfully sort "worth its space" from "not worth its space", we need knowledge of our priorities and current concept of self. The need to essentialize; the hours feeling possessed, sorting through boxes and closets, is about needing to define who we are and what we want from life through our stuff. It is wanting to have only the stuff that will further our desires in this world and of ourselves. The flurry is a need for a redefinition of self. We're digging through boxes to find ourselves. We're asking, "Who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? What's essential to me?" By answering these questions, we stop pushing the blue sweater back and forth from the "worth its space" to the "not worth it" pile, and we stop waffling about whether we may one day need the unopened pack of 500 notecards we've had for years. The "maybe" pile disappears.

Being honest with ourselves prevents saving too much stuff as well as keeping too little. At 17 I wasn't asking what I needed to comfortably further my goals, but rather demanding of myself that I need only the bare minimum to function. Minimalism is discovering what is essential for our goals, and removing the things that take up space or otherwise hinder our goals. If a priority is to have visitors, it makes sense to have a very cozy and inviting space, with the items needed for quality hosting.

For me, the more impersonal a space looks, the more industrial and modern and clean, the freer I feel. The possessions have no pull on me; take no thought. They just are. It frees me to just be. I'm hypersensitive to sensory information, and my mind easily feels swamped with mental clutter. My priority of pulling the clutter out of my mind and shaping it into something beautiful or interesting or useful, requires a lot of space.

I don't think everyone should minimize (actually I try not to think in "should"s at all). If you don't feel the call, you don't feel the call. My interest is in helping people feel right and expressed. That can mean piles of stuff or emptiness, and I help find what's right for each client. 

If you've been struggling with a large "maybe" pile, and resorting without actually paring down; I hope exploring who you are, what you currently value, and what your current goals are helps. If you need additional help, you can find my services in the shop.